TV Crush: Agnes Moorehead

Agnes Moorehead was a Sagittarius!
And a lesbian, according to Paul Lynde,
who said, Well, the whole world knows
Agnes was a lesbian—I mean classy as hell,
but one of the all-time Hollywood dykes.

Oh Paul, putting your but where there
ought to be an and, and me, believing
every gay rumor because, I mean,
who cares if she was or wasn’t, wasn’t
Or maybe I’m just looking for an excuse
to daydream about caftans and perfect
gold California sand, thrilled by any femme
with claws for hands, nails manicured
to pointed ends, gaudy and graceful,
gratuitous. Agnes Moorehead is a Sagittarius!
I think this explains everything. Short marriages,
long work, late fame, how I want to shout her name
to any person who passes, Immaculate Agnes!,
you tough old bird, may your wings
forever extend the length of your lashes.

Christie Towers is an MFA candidate at the University of Massachusetts, Boston where she also teaches creative writing. Her work can be found in various journals online and elsewhere.

Appears In

Issue 10

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