Saturday morning: sleep still tip-toe-tapping
evasive, snug in the bags under our eyes
and you ask what I tell my family about you.
We have an adversarial relationship,
and you smile, content with this,
a story of villains and scoundrels
tucked into the softness of something
that’s been missing. Something we’ve
denied. How lovingly you wrap
your hands around my neck, careful
not to leave a bruise. How the world shifts
when you stop fighting the truth that you
should be fighting—like a gun learning it
was always meant to go off. And then rest in a
drawer. Velvet lined. I think of you as a railroad
stop. Or a dark alley. Not quite dangerous
but certainly not home. If I am tired enough
of fighting, I will lay my head on you,
but I am not staying here. Perhaps
what I like best about being near you
is that weakness is a sign of weakness,
and if I am lying face down, so are you—
there are no winners here. Neither of us
has a right to lay claim to the bite marks
on our skin; they are not names, just x’s
on maps marking where we’ve been.
by Bri Onishea
Appears In
Cagibi Issue 4
